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Why Social Dance Etiquette? Dancing is one
of the few social activities that can put you "in
close contact" with a complete stranger. Dance
etiquette is a set of informal guidelines that help
make social dance interaction enjoyable for
everyone. Dance etiquette is nothing more than
polite consideration for others around you, as well
as a concern for the safety of everyone involved and
helps in the effort to avoid inadvertently offending
or harming other dancers or people around you.
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If in doubt about a specific point of etiquette, it
is often enough to invoke the following rule:
be kind,
generous, and considerate of others.
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Etiquette on the
Social Dance Floor-The Main Points |
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Take Care of Your Personal Hygiene. For your
partner's sake, avoid eating garlic, onions, or
spicy foods before you go dancing. Ensure you
shower and brush your teeth before you go dancing.
Swing dancers have a tendency to sweat, so also take
care of your personal hygiene during the dance, i.e.
use baby powder and deodorant as required.
Leaders especially: bring extra shirts (both outer
shirts and T-Shirts), change sweaty clothing,
etc.
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No unsolicited teaching (on both the social dance
floor and at workshops). It is extremely rude
to presume you know more than your partner does
(even if you do). Trying to "help" someone by
offering unsolicited teaching advice can hurt
feelings and turn off new dancers. Men seem to
violate this rule much more than ladies. I've
heard several stories from very experienced
followers about how a beginning dancer offered them
"advice" or wondered aloud why they could not pick
up a particular "flashy" move they were performing
(it was normally because it was badly led!).
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Aerials, drops, and slides are best left for
jam sessions, competitions, and performances. These
type patterns are not appropriate for the social
dance floor.
- Ask others to dance. Hey, it's a social
dance! A note for "experienced" dancers.
Asking others to
dance is very important in perpetuating the local
swing dance scene. If the more experienced
dancers spend all their time and energy focusing on
their own enjoyment but overlook the aspects of
promoting the scene to others, then that threatens
the fabric that holds the “swing” community together
over the long term.
- Applaud
the band. If it's a live music venue, give the
band a hand at the end of a song. They just don't
play for money! The more you applaud, the better
they will feel and play.
* Dance in the
space that you have. Be careful not to "block
the slot" that dancers have established. A "slot"
for swing dancers is normally a space about the
length of outreached arms on both sides of the
leader. Lindy Hop dancers especially should be
careful not to "short-slot" the other dancers when
they have established a slot. Respect their space
and don't cut it in half by dancing on either side
of it. This not only leads to accidents as the
dancers try to go into the space they had been using
but it also negatively affects their ability to
dance.
- Line of Dance. This doesn't apply too much
for a swing dancers, but here is the general
concept.
Ballroom dances
like the waltz or foxtrot are traveling dances.
These traveling dances move on the dance floor in a
counter clock-wise direction. This is called the
line of dance.
Sometimes, for the same song, some couples will
dance a traveling dance, i.e. like a foxtrot.
In this case, the traveling dancers should travel
along the periphery or outside of the dance floor.
- The dance floor is for dancing. If you're
having a conversation or learning something new,
move of the dance floor. At most dance venues,
dance floor space is at a premium.
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Don't play bad cop or try to be the dance
"police". If you see something unsafe (e.g.,
broken glass, water on the dance floor, etc.) or
someone doing something really unsafe, it's best to
alert the club manager, the dance sponsor, etc. and
let them handle the situation.
* Getting on to the dance floor. The
gentleman should escort the lady on to the dance
floor. It is the responsibility of the couple
getting onto the dance floor to make sure that they
stay out of the way of the couples already dancing.
Walk around the edge of the dance floor, rather than
trying to thread your way through the dancers.
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Leaving the dance floor. When a song comes
to an end, leave the dance floor as quickly as it is
safely possible. Traditionally, the gentleman
escorts the lady back to her seat at the end of the
dance. While this is a nice touch, it may be
impractical on a crowded dance floor or in certain
swing dance venues.
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At the end of the dance, thank your partner.
When thanked, it is best to reply "Thank You" and
not "Your welcome", because the reply is not due to
a favor, but to politeness.
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If you enjoyed the dance, let your partner know.
Compliment your partner on her/his dancing. Be
generous, even if he/she is not the greatest of
dancers. Be specific about it if you can: "I really
enjoyed that side by side Charleston. You
led/followed that beautifully!''
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If the dance floor is very crowded, don't
take up excessive space or travel from area to
area. You may want to avoid Charleston patterns and
kicking steps. On any dance floor, but particularly
a crowded one, it is certainly a good idea to look
behind and around you so you don't step on or kick
others. In addition, don't try to dance every dance
when the floor is crowded. Take a break, socialize,
visit friends, watch other dancers.
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If you must drink, do so as far from the
dance floor as possible. Never dance with a drink in
your hand.
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Sharing the dance floor. Avoid getting too
close to other couples, especially less experienced
ones. Be prepared to change the directions of your
patterns to avoid congested areas. This requires
thinking ahead and matching your patterns to the
free areas on the floor (floor craft). While this
may sound complicated to the beginning dancer, it
gradually becomes second nature.
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When asking for a dance, any of the
traditional phrases such as "Would you like to
dance?'' or "Care to dance?'' are fine.
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At swing dances, it is considered perfectly
acceptable for a lady to ask a gentleman for a
dance.
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When asking someone to dance, step up to
him/her and make eye contact when asking for a
dance. Do not ask from a distance as it can make for
an awkward moment if a number of people think they
have been asked to dance, and you have to tell them
that they were not.
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If someone appears to be in a normal conversation
with another, you can approach, standing close and
interested. When your intended partner makes eye
contact, you may smile and ask "Dance?"
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If someone is sitting closely with their significant
other, talking quietly to each other, then it is
probably not a good time to ask him/her for a
dance.
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If two men ask the same lady to dance at the same
moment, it is not recommended that either man stand
down, rather that the women must choose one or the
other. It is often most appropriate that the women
offer the next dance to the man who was turned down.
The same applies when the genders are reversed.
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Dance etiquette requires one should avoid
declining a dance, except for the following
reasons:
** You have promised the dance to someone
else.
** You need to take a rest.
** You do not know the dance.
In the situations above, an explanation such as "I'd
like to sit this one out? Perhaps the next dance?"
is a nice gesture.
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There are some dancers who consistently violate
the rules of conduct, behave inappropriately on
the dance floor, are rough and/or dangerous on the
floor or are otherwise a serious problem. Etiquette
allows that in such situations, one is allowed to
say: "No, thank you,'' without further explanation.
This option should be used with great restraint, and
only in the case of repeat offenders.
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It is bad social form to refuse a dance on the basis
of preferring to dance with someone else. In
addition, declining a dance means sitting out the
whole song. It is inconsiderate to dance a song
with anyone after you have declined to dance it with
someone else. If you are asked to dance a song
before you can ask (or get asked by) your desired
partner, that's the luck of the draw. The choices
are to dance it with whoever asked first, or to sit
out the dance.
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When turned down for a dance, one should at
first take it at face value. When a dance can last
for hours, there are not many people who can keep
dancing non-stop and therefore will need to take a
break from time to time. Especially for beginners
and shy individuals, asking for a dance and then
being declined can be difficult and may discourage
them from social dancing. If one is turned down for
a dance on an occasional basis, one should not read
anything into such instances. However, since swing
dancers (and most social dancers) are generally
polite, being repeatedly declined can be a sign to
examine one's dancing and social interactions to see
if anything is wrong with oneself.
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A note for "experienced" dancers. Asking
others to dance is certainly important in
perpetuating the local swing dance scene. If
the more experienced dancers spend all their time
and energy focusing on their own enjoyment but
overlook the aspects of promoting the scene to
others, then that threatens the fabric that holds
the “swing” community together over the long term.
* Generally, it is considered good social form
to dance with other people as well one's regular
partner. Indeed, one of the main points of going to
a social dance event is to dance with others.
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Force of habit, personal attraction and dancing
capabilities influence whom a person asks to dance.
These tendencies, though understandable, are not
helpful to the overall social dynamics of a dance.
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People tend to dance with others at their own level,
but excluding partners based on their skill level is
not good social form and is contrary to the spirit
of social dancing.
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Remember the "beginning" dancer of today will some
day be an "intermediate/ advanced" dancer.
Conversely, don't be afraid to ask a more
"experienced" dancer for a dance. This applies to
leaders and followers. Dance with everyone - don't
limit yourself.
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Never blame a partner for a figure that did
not execute properly. Regardless of who is at fault
when a dancing mishap occurs, both parties are
supposed to smile and go on. This applies to the
better dancer in particular, who bears a greater
responsibility.
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Accepting the blame for a dancing mishap is an
especially nice touch for the gentleman. But at the
same time, do not apologize profusely.
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Be considerate of other couples on the floor.
If you step on someone's toes, say "Excuse me" even
when it may not be your fault.
Most swing dances are informal in a nature.
Therefore, when it comes to what to wear, comfort
and safety are the primary considerations.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
** Choose your shoes carefully. Be careful
of sneakers or other shoes with rubber or spongy
soles that can
stick to the floor during turns and
spins and cause ankle and knee injuries. Some swing
dancers like to put
masking tape on the soles of their shoes (normally
sneakers) to allow them to spin easier. Make sure
that
the tape will not damage, mark-up or
harm the dance floor or leave bits of tape or
adhesive that could cause
problems for other dancers.
** If you
dance on a regular basis, you should invest in some
good dance shoes designed for swing dancers,
both for swing dances and lessons. You
really can't get beyond the beginner level if you
try to dance in
tennis shoes (not counting tennis shoes
that have chrome leather applied to the bottoms),
work type shoes,
climbing boots, ballroom dance shoes,
etc...
** Avoid sleeveless shirts and tank tops. It
is not pleasant to have to touch the damp skin of a
partner.
** Sleeves that are baggy can also be a
problem, because dancers need access to their
partner's back,
and hands may get caught in baggy sleeves.
** Accessories like big rings, watches,
brooches, loose/long necklaces, and big belt buckles
can be hazardous
on the dance floor. They can catch in
partner's clothing, scratch and bruise, and are in
general a nuisance.
** Gentlemen: if you have no place to leave
your keys and loose change, carry them in the LEFT
pocket
of your trousers. This makes it less
likely to bruise your partner. Ladies, use your
right pocket.
** Long hair should be put up or tied in a
ponytail. It is difficult to get into closed dance
position when the
lady has long flowing hair (hair gets
caught in gentleman's right hand). It is also not
fun to be hit in the
face with flying hair during turns and
spins, or for the guy to inhale the hair into his
throat.
** Carry
an extra shirt (or two) with you to the dance, in
case you need a change. This is especially true
at outside dances or dances in facilities
that lack air conditioning.
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Dancing to the
Level of the Partner |
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It often happens that the two partners dancing are
not at the same level. It is important that the more
experienced partner dances at the level of the less
experienced partner. This is mostly a comment for
leaders: when dancing with a new partner, start with
simple figures, and gradually work your way up to
more complicated patterns. Doing extra
syncopations, footwork, free spins, turns, etc. can
be distracting and even intimidating for a less
experienced follower. You will discover a comfort
level, file it away in memory for the next time you
dance with the same partner.
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The same principles apply to followers. Doing extra
syncopations, footwork, free spins and turns can be
distracting and intimidating for a less experienced
leader. More often, because of the information
passed by the hand connection, a new lead may
misinterpret the fancy footwork of the follow as a
mistake on the leader's part (it takes a while
before new leads can distinguish the information
received through the hand connection as not coming
from their own body).
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Be personable and smile. Try to project a warm and
positive image on the dance floor, even if that is
not your personal style. Once one asks or accepts a
dance, it is important to be outwardly positive,
even if not feeling exactly enthusiastic.
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Maintain eye contact - you are dancing with this
person, therefore it is respectful to pay attention
to them. Do not let your gaze wander to things or
people around you. |
